Second workshop

Feedback on second draft
To some extent I went into this workshop feeling quite happy with my latest version of my story. I felt like I had clearly anchored the characters and used more explicit detail to describe the situation without giving too much away in the first paragraph. I was also under the impression that I had solved my confusing issues of point of view but all was not as it seemed...

Misinterpretation
Not only had I managed to confuse the readers again with point of view, but also left yet more ambiguous gaps which gave birth to new interpretations and possible story threads. Now that I had added a name to the drone pilot, Flavia's place in the story was suddenly questioned. My extremely subtle hint to her role in the death of Bruno's father was lost in the chaotic science fiction world I had created. And, come to think of it, what did this really add to the story when presented in this way? The word 'click' I had used had invoked an entirely new perception of the story in which even the mother was virtual, and unknowingly this had created a connection to the end of the story where the word click appeared again. Adding to this, my changes in point of view had simply exchanged one source of confusion for another.

Suggestions
Here are some of the suggestions/questions from the workshop.

What is the connection between Bruno and Flavia?
'Chekov's gun' must go off.
Who is supposed to know the truth?
With more points of view there are more gaps.
Is Flavia just a device?
'Click' what does this mean? Can the mum be deleted mid-sentence?
Bruno is an unreliable narrator.
Where is the ah ha! moment in the final message?
Could you use zooming to create distance from the character?

The third draft
This week I will make an attempt at the final draft but I wonder if writers ever really feel like a story is finished. Even Leonardo Di Vinci is reported to have said 'Art is never finished, only abandoned', and when I think of my other creative pursuits I have to agree. Perhaps the affordances of forever-editable blogs make this aspect of creative writing more apparent when compared to traditional print media. At the same time, I would like to be able to finish this story before the submission deadline! I'm hoping that reading about endings this week will help me find an ending to my story and at the same time help me find a purpose or meaning for my story.